Does my mom have the really wrong attitude toward religion?

Z Asked: Does my mom have the really wrong attitude toward religion?

OK first of all I LOVE my mom, she might be my favorite person in the world. I don't want there to be any confusion over that.

But I had a pretty big rift with her over how I was raised. My mom had me and my brothers baptized Catholic because while my dad was Lutheran not Catholic he wasn't all that religious and she knew he wouldn't raise us much in the faith. By the time I was about 12 I was entering confirmation. At this time I wasn't even sure if I believed in God and I know I didn't want to be Catholic. I had a ton of issues with the church and didn't believe in their view of communion and thus refused to take it. I had been saying that even if I did go to a church once I was an adult it certainly wouldn't be Catholic.

My mom still insisted on me finishing confirmation and taking a vow I didn't believe in. So I asked her if I could get confirmed in a different church instead. We went to a nearby Lutheran church too even though my dad rarely did, but she wanted us to have some exposure to his church. She still said no, she wanted me to be confirmed Catholic because she knew how many in her family wanted this and wanted to come see it. But she also said "But if you decide after this you want to join a different church go ahead, I won't expect you to have any level of involvement with the Catholic church after this."

Well that's what happened, I got confirmed in something I didn't believe in, I later found my way back to God but not through the Catholic church. To me my confirmation was meaningless and just a pointless ritual. It had nothing to do with my relationship with God today and marked nothing. If it had been in a different church, I might give it some meaning today. But it seems very odd to insist that someone get confirmed taking an oath to a church, and then saying after that they don't care if they leave the church. That's rather backwards. My mom doesn't seem to care about what confirmation really means.


Fireball Answered:
SHE BELIEVES IN HER CHURCH and she tried to help you…dont worry God is in all Trinity churches and you can try others when older..

Darmani Answered:
You are correct.Your mom has the wrong view.

Anonnie Mouse Answered:
I am going to tell you what christians say to atheist, pagan and other non-christian children with similar complaints: you live under her roof, you have to do what she wants to make her happy.

I don't really believe that mind you, but the situation sounds different when it's one christian pressuring another, doesn't it?

bluedragonflygone Answered:
No one has the same attitude toward religion, each of us are individuals and thus we have opinions which are based on many factors.
Your mother loves you and wants you to be the best you can.You did not state your age, but believe me, when youreach 18 you may have a different opinion and understand better, but when you reach 25 years old, your opinion might change again.

DogmaBites Answered:
I think she does have the wrong view, but don't sweat it. You didn't put yourself into a lifetime binding agreement. You are free to change your mind at any time.

marissa Answered:
Yeah I get you.You might make her rather happy to hear how seriously you take it, that's respectable.You know, just do what you feel is right cause your relationship with Christ is the most important.She'll understand.

harpertara Answered:
Your mother was probably doing this more from trying to please the relatives than any real commitment to this faith.I assume she was baptized and raised Catholic?It's obvious she was/is not a strong believer in this faith, that it was more something she saw as being 'expected' of her by her family and the parish she goes/went to.
I agree she probably shouldn't have made you go through with the Confirmation.You are right in that in Your Case it was a meaningless ritual.But it isn't to many others.
Now that you have found another church you like better, just leave the past behind.It may not have done you lots of good, but it did you no harm either.

Don Answered:
Kid we all must start somewhere I as a Catholic also with12 years of Catholic school but I left the Catholic church when I could reason on my own for it is full of half truths. Ask your mother is it okay to worship things that are not in the Bible and where in the Bible does it say that Peter was ever in Rome?

Clanad Answered:
I think your mom had good intentions.

I think a lot of people who are getting children ready for their Confirmation nowadays see if the child is really commited to doing this.

Personally, I have three children—the first two did their Confirmation (maybe being confused about it at the time—I don't remember much about that).I was disappointed when my third child didn't tell me about his upcoming Confirmation and did not do it.On the one hand, it was disappointing, but on the other hand, I could understand that his beliefs didn't really "coincide" with the Sacrament of Confirmation.

So, I can understand your mother to a degree.But I can also sympathize with the fact that you don't feel you have the necessary beliefs.

All I can say is that I sincerely hope that you and my son one day realize the truth of the Catholic Faith and do receive the Sacrament of Confirmation (the gifts of the Holy Spirit)—I also wish my Confirmed children also realize the truth of the Catholic Faith one day and rejoice as I and many other practicing Catholics in the beauty of this Faith.

Robert S Answered:
Your mother did the best that she understood for your salvation.
Catholics baptize infants, like many other churches.
But Confirmation should be your decision when you grow up.
Too often, kids don't get instruction, beyond childhood.
Many parents retain their childish understanding too.
So she was following the obligations she felt important.
You were not making a pledge to the Church, but to Jesus.
It's basically the same thing, wherever you make it.
The Lutheran church separated from the Catholic church.
the differences are miniscule, & may soon disappear.

Old Timer Too Answered:
<<Does my mom <snip> wouldn't be Catholic.>>

The problem doesn't appear to be your mom. The problem appears to be YOU and your overtly rebellious attitude.

<<My mom still <snip> church after this.">>

Consider yourself lucky. Most parents would continue to "force" you to worship until you were out of the house altogether.

<<Well that's what <snip> confirmation really means.>>

No. Your mom DOES care. That's why she saw to it that you were Confirmed. It's YOU who has no respect for what Confirmation means!

Sorry but it's YOU who has "a really wrong attitude toward religion".

Daver Answered:
Your mom did not handle this situation in wisdom. She was however doing the best she knew how. We must show grace in situations like this and not be too hard on people, but rather pray for them.

Misty Answered:
When you were 12 you should have told her that you didn't want to learn English, butRussian, that
it was stupid to study, you don't learn anything anyway, that you wanted freedom to do what you
want_no obligations, no idiotic responsibilities and so on.

When l was much younger, l thought along those lines.I imagined myself much more Intelligent than
my mother or father.__they didn't know a blasted thing. Obviously, l was all wrong.

Your parents do the best they can for you because they love you.Until you're independent, do what
they ask you because by doing so,it will be a retribution of their love. You may not understand it
now, but times goes by very fast, and they won't be with you forever.

As to religion, it is very rarely that it issomething you like at first.But as you grow older you will
see the importance of having God in your life and all the consolation and help He can give you.
A person without God has a meaningless life.As long as you are already a Catholic, learn more about it in a adult manner.Your mother doesn't care whether you go to one church or another
because she hopes that you'll act more like an adult and accept your confirmation as a Catholic
without the necessity of her telling you.

By the way, do you know what it means to belong to a Church founded by Christ, the church which is theCreator of western Civilization, the church that compiled the bible and has a tradition of over
2000 years. Think about it.

Thats Just Not Funny Answered:
Your mother was wrong to force you through confirmation when you didn't believe in it. This is explicitly against Catholic teaching. In fact, had you told the priest that you didn't believe in it and you were just doing it because your mother was making you, he would have pulled you out of confirmation. Anyway, the fact that you lied during your confirmation vows means you invalidated the sacrament, and I'm fairly certain that means you really are not confirmed. You would have to check with a priest or canon lawyer to know for sure.

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